My Trip Home

So I went home this past weekend. It was JUST what I needed, God really did work that one out for me. I got to visit my beloved Sherman family and it was amazing. I hung out with Ember and we talked and made each other laugh and I played with Brysee and Corbee. I love those little boys. I got to hang out with Johns family and chill at his house doing homework and watching Mad Men. And my dog! I love her! I got to hug her neck and sing her songs and sleep with her in my new big girl bed. Nineteen years old and my first time to sleep in my very own big girl bed (which was wonderful by the way). I got to joke with Bobby and eat home cooking. I loved spending time with my mom and just relaxing with her and talking and catching up.

I hung out a lot with "John's friends" as well. Hoss and Austin were the main two that I saw, but it was so much fun! We sat outside and talked while Hoss and Austin smoked a cigarette, we made each other laugh, watched movies, cooked dinner and ate Mexican bread. I've known Austin since my Junior year and Hoss and I hung out quite a bit this past summer but for some reason it was this weekend that made me feel close to them. I am not sure why but I'm glad it happened, I really miss them and it makes me sad that I can't be with those guys all year. They're wild and hysterical and intelligent and love good movies and accepting and everything.

As I left home on Sunday I began to really feel the pains of growing up. I realized that at this point in my life there isn't a home. I feel (to steal a line from garden state more or less) that I'm just in search of home. I don't live at OBU but I don't live at home, and that's the way it will be until I make this home by myself; without all these other elements that I consider to be home. Soon new elements will become more like home to me than Austins house, sleeping with my dog and crawling into bed with my mom. This is sad and exciting all at the same time. I don't know...but I do know that I'm not ready for all of that to happen just yet. But whether I'm ready or not, growing up will happen to me. I just hope I can put it off for as long as I can